Homeschool

One important lesson I have learned through our journey ‘home’, is that we, as parents, are responsible for the souls of our children. We must, then, place the needs of their souls in the highest priority, even above their academic training. We must not neglect their academic education, but we must impress upon them that success in God’s standard does not equal success in the world’s standard. In other words, we don’t need to produce brilliant students, just knowledgeable, loving, well-adjusted people, who know how to love God and those around them. The truth is, when they die, they will stand before Christ and He will judge them. He will not care if they became great doctors, successful lawyers, powerful business men, prestigious performers or spent their lives as simple carpenters, plumbers or janitors. He will look only at their souls; their humility, and how they loved Him during their lifetime. Did they acknowledge Him; worship Him, spend time loving Him? Were they repentant, sorry for their sins, or did they ignore their spiritual needs, dismissing them as inconvenient, unnecessary and ‘only for the eccentric Jesus freaks’? Our primary role as parents is to teach our children that our spiritual needs are not unnecessary, inconvenient, or only for ‘someone else’. God created us. He gave us our souls to love Him, know Him, and serve Him in this lifetime and to be happy with Him in heaven for all eternity. This is the most important lesson our children need to learn. And society is not teaching it. It must be taught in the family.

Our family discovered homeschooling in 1998, just after returning to the States from our military assignment in England. Our son, Zachary, was in the first grade. He attended British schools for our three years abroad and had done quite well. When he transferred to the American school system, however, he did not do so well. I had heard of homeschooling but gave it little thought, since Chris and I planned on sending our children to Catholic schools. Now it appeared to be a real possibility. So I started educating myself. I wanted to know everything I could about homeschooling. What I began to see profoundly changed the way I looked at families, education, and life.

Before long, God led me to a woman who was the leader of the local Catholic homeschooling group in Fort Walton Beach, FL. Catholic Homeschooling? I hadn’t imagined there was such a thing. I was very interested. This woman was the mother of 8 children, all of whom were homeschooled. Her oldest at the time was 19 and already attending a local college. Homeschooled and attending college? So, it could be done. Wow! I was impressed! But what impressed me most about this woman and her family had nothing to do with academics.

They were a beautiful, holy Catholic family, living in simplicity. Their home was a busy place, yet full of love and laughter. They did not have television, but instead they spent their evenings praying family Rosaries, playing board games together and talking. They treasured their faith and were deeply in love with God. From the father right down to the two smallest children, 18-month old twin girls, we witnessed devotion to the Blessed Trinity. It was neither forced nor superficial. It was in the very fabric of their lives, woven like a tapestry in their hearts. For Chris and I, it was a long, cool drink in a hot, dry desert. We were so refreshed. We craved what they had. We immersed ourselves in their presence and tried to soak up what we could from this wonderful family. We wanted our family to be like theirs.

Zach was struggling more and more with school, to the point where he cried each morning about having to go. It was breaking my heart. But even more than that, I was getting angry. “My son should be enjoying the experience of learning,” I thought. Instead, he was filled with anxiety and was beginning to hate school. I knew we needed to break that right away. With loving encouragement from the homeschool support group there in Fort Walton Beach, Chris and I took that leap of faith.

In January 1999, we pulled Zach and Rachel (who was in pre-K) out of school. I didn’t even wait for the end of the school year. I will admit that first day - even that first week - was difficult. I struggled with feelings of guilt and lack of confidence, and had to remind myself that I was not doing something ‘wrong’ by not sending my children to school. It was, in fact, the best choice we ever made. Zach’s disruptive, angry behavior began to disappear. Daily life in the Francis house became more peaceful, less tense. It was amazing.

Though homeschooling has brought many benefits to our family life, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the opposition we faced when we decided to begin homeschooling. Many well-meaning, but uninformed individuals criticized and questioned our decision. They worried that we would not be able to provide enough education for our children. Perhaps they feared us turning our children into ‘hillbillies’, uneducated and unsocialized. At first it was difficult to sidestep all those opinions and persevere with what we believed was right. Sometimes, I will admit, I feared the same things. But God kept us strong. He constantly reminded us of the end goal - the souls of our children - and in that we found the courage to go on. Even when our children were denied the Sacraments simply because they were ‘homeschooled’, we persevered. In obedience, we submitted to the Authority of our Diocese. And the graces were poured out upon us. After many prayers and much patience, we were recognized as being proper teachers of our children and granted permission to have them receive the Sacraments of First Penance and First Communion.

There was no proof we could give to those who opposed our decision. We shared with them the literature on homeschooling, the statistics, the success stories and such. But it would ultimately be our children who would prove that our ‘road-less-traveled’ way of life was indeed working. After only one year of full-time homeschooling, it became evident that our children were ‘different’ from many other children. They had respect for adults, manners, compassion and generosity toward one another, and a strong faith in God. They began to learn temperance and self-sacrifice, virtues necessary to the success of the home-school. These behaviors, just like we had seen in our friend’s family, became woven into the very fabric of our lives.

Our children may not be excellent in academics, but they are educated. They remain at the same, if not higher, academic level as their public and private schooled peers, AND they have much better attitudes. They are learning not only the rubrics required of their academic careers, they are also learning how to be responsible; how to help one another; how to be patient with younger siblings; how to cooperate in family decisions; how to prioritize and make decisions.

I won’t deny that our days are busy and full. Just accomplishing the daily chores of laundry, cooking, cleaning, and nursing a baby can be overwhelming, in addition to the hours of school time needed. Yet, in spite of all the stress we endure, I still believe that we are doing what is best for our children. In order for homeschooling to be successful, each member of the family must work together. There is no time for any one of us to become lazy, self-centered or distracted. Together we are learning temperance, kindness, charity and respect. And our love for God grows deeper each day. In this, I am sure that Chris and I are doing our very best to teach our children the ultimate lesson of homeschooling: to know God, love God, and serve God in this lifetime, so they can be happy with Him forever in Heaven.

God Bless.

+JMJ+

Julie

 

 

Mother of Divine Grace Catholic Homeschool

Emmanuel Books

Neumann Press